April 23, 2012

Grammar: feel free to use it.

You know those suuuper annoying grammar snobs? OMG I hate them! They are the worst! It's like it's their job, correcting you on your emails, ruining your Facebook posts with nonsense edits, just TRYING to make you look like a complete moron.
Ok yeah that’s me. But in my defense words are the only thing I’m good at, so I have to rub it in your face sometimes (all the time). Besides, you are probably good at something else, like math or science. No? Maybe you have a good personality.
Let’s have a little grammar lesson. Oh, you don’t want to? Well I’m sick of reading text messages that hardly make sense because of your consistent misuse of common words. And if you’re older than 8 years old, there is really no excuse for this behavior.
Men – you may not know this, but your cool points take a significant blow when you use the wrong form of ‘your’ or ‘there’. For me, you are practically out of the game if you repeatedly put ‘to’ instead of 'too'. 

Maybe we are sticklers, but it is not uncommon for the following convo to go down between my roommate and me:
“That hottie just texted me!”
“What did he say?! He is fiiiiine.”
“Ohhhh…he used the wrong ‘your’. Damn.”
“He wasn’t that cool anyway.”

Lucky for you, this shit isn't that hard.
YOUR: This is the possessive form of "you". "Does this child belong to you? It’s your child. No really, I think this is your kid."
YOU’RE: Do you see that little apostrophe? That means this word is a contraction. A combination of "you" and "are". You are. So when writing me an email, it will say, “You’re really cool, Maddie. Probably the coolest girl I've ever met."

THERE: There refers to a place or idea. "Ryan Gosling is over there. JK no he's not. Because he's actually in my bed."
THEIR: This indicates possession. "It's their turn to mow the lawn. Just like every other time because I don't do that."
THEY’RE: Ok, peeps, see that apostrophe again? Another contraction! A combo of “they” and “are”. "They’re at the store buying Four Loko. Which means they're either really poor or really awesome."

TO: Do you really not know the difference between "to" and "too"?
TOO: No seriously, I don’t even feel like telling you because that is absurd.

Here's an idea: let’s not exchange any form of written communication and eat these instead.

Chocolate chip peanut butter cookies with Reese's chunks on top. Because regular peanut butter cookies aren't unhealthy enough.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cookies
Real Mom Kitchen

3/4 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup peanut butter
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
1 bag mini Reese's peanut butter cups, each cut into 4 pieces

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream together butter, the sugars, and peanut butter. Once well combined, add eggs and vanilla. Slowly add flour, salt, and baking soda. Fold in chocolate chips. Scoop round balls onto cookie sheet. Slightly flatten the cookie. You still want them thick, just making a base for the peanut butter cups later. Bake for 10 minutes.

Remove and allow to cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes. During this time, press 4 peanut butter cup pieces into each cookie. Move cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.

1 comment:

  1. We call those people Grammar Nazis. I sent you some pictures on facebook that you would appreciate :). I couldn't post them here.

    noun (pl. -s)
    1. A person who uses proper grammar at all times, esp. online in emails, chatrooms, instant messages and webboard posts; a proponent of grammatical correctness. Often one who spells correctly as well.