April 14, 2012


Is anyone tired of hearing about my roommate yet? That's unfortunate, because I'm going to continue to talk about her. Mostly because I don't have many other friends, and she gives me good material. But I'm pretty sure she is one of four people who read this blog (hi mom!), and she loves talking about herself, so this works out well.

It's amazing how much you learn about someone while living with them. More so than you would ever imagine. If there's anything I've learned in the glorious 12 months we've resided together, it's that this lady is by far the most interesting person I have ever met. And I will even go so far as to say she is the most interesting person I will EVER meet, which is a bold statement for someone of twenty five. Thus far, I've observed the following:

1. She has an undeniable, irrefutable adversity to cleaning. It's impressive. I've never seen anything like it, even when I lived with three dudes. I marvel at her ability to leave a trail of clothes and belongings everywhere she goes, and to do so without the slightest idea. Her capacity to cook a meal, use every pan in the kitchen, and leave dishes and a multitude of sauces littering the living room without giving the slightest fuck is astonishing and spectacular all at the same time. If I possessed just one-tenth of her negligence I would probably be a cooler person.

2. If she's taught me anything, it's that any word is better with "ski" added to the end. I'm not just talking the traditional "brewski". You can literally add "ski" to anything. Jobski, barski, shoeski. "I'm not sure where the restaurant is, check Googski." "What are you wearing tonight, your tankski?"

3. I never have to worry about her eating my food. In her world, the food pyramid is solely made up of Nutella, Honey Bunches of Oats, and Phad Thai.

4. She is apparently immune to any and all foodborne illnesses. She will often leave mayonnaise, meat, and eggs sitting on the counter for extended periods of time before eating it. During summer. When I first saw this I freaked out, informing her of her impending death due to hazardous pathogens, but she simply responded with, "No, it's chill! I did this ALL the time in college." Can't argue with that.

5. I thought I had an issue with losing items and generally leaving things where they don't belong (apparently my debit card is supposed to be in my wallet, not at the bar) until I lived with her. I have never heard the phrase "where are my keys?" as many times in my entire life than I have in the past year. In fact, I think we should create an acronym out of it so we can get a couple years back. From now on, I demand "WIMP" be used instead of wasting time with "Where is my purse?" I pray nightly that her husband was born with an overwhelming sense of patience. I also pray he is hot, because that means he has hot friends.

6. Unknowingly, she is prepping me for motherhood. When it's particularly quiet in the house, I know she has either gotten into the cookie dough or is doing some heavy creeping on Facebook. When my future children are quiet, busy taking Sharpies to my couch or crayons to the wall, I will be on them like lightning.

Like my roommate, these chocolate chip cookies are quirky (ahhh...see how I'm tying this all togeth??) For one, they require two types of flour. Annoying? Yes. But Snooki is also annoying and that doesn't mean you just turn your back on her like she is yesterday's news (even though she is). The recipe requires that you also mix the butter and sugars for a full five minutes, and each egg has to be added and mixed individually for whatever reason. It's also strongly recommended you refrigerate the dough for 24-36 hours before baking, which is a nearly impossible task as you can imagine. But you must exercise restraint because 1) Salmonella is probably not a pleasurable experience and 2) they are worth it.

This is the famous New York Times chocolate chip cookies recipe, and since we neither live in New York nor have any idea what newspapers and cookies have to do with one another, can't you see why it's absolutely vital you make these immediately? Just go with it.

The New York Times Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes 18 large cookies

2 cups minus 2 tablespoons cake flour
1 2/3 cups bread flour
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt
2 1/2 sticks (1 1/4 cups) unsalted butter
1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/4 pounds bittersweet chocolate chips

1. Sift flours, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a bowl. Set aside.
2. Using a mixer with a paddle attachment, cream butters and sugars together until very light, about 5 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Stir in vanilla.
3. Reduce speed to low, add dry ingredients and mix until combined, 5 to 10 seconds. Mix in chocolate chips.
4. Press plastic wrap against dough and refrigerate for 24 to 36 hours. Dough may be used in batches, and can be refrigerated for up to 72 hours.
5. When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a nonstick baking mat. Set aside.
6. Scoop 6 mounds of dough (the size of generous golf balls) onto baking sheet. HUGE, I know.
7. Bake until light golden brown, 17-19 minutes. Transfer sheet to a wire rack for 10 minutes, then slip cookies onto another rack to cool a but more.

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