June 17, 2012

A lesson on cupcaking.

It truly seems all too perfect, but "cupcaking" is indeed a term. It is something you, unknowing civilian, have even participated in yourself I'm willing to bet.

According to Urban Dictionary, database of all things true and accurate, cupcaking is a verb. It means to pay more attention to a girl than your friends, usually through text messaging or other forms of technological communication. A person will usually do so in attempts to hook up or flirt with a girl, and it is seen as "warming them up."

So, how is it used in a sentence?

“Dude, stop cupcaking with that ugly ass ho”


"That guy is always cupcaking with his girl in the hallway"

I totally don't get it. So you're telling me dudes don't text girls or hang around them at bars just because they like their personality? And want to be in good company? Jay kayy. I have two brothers, I have had boyfriends before, I used to live with three dudes - I know your tricks.

My version of cupcaking? Ripping off Sprinkles Cupcakes for their famous vanilla buttercream. You probably just got super excited that I'm about to share some top secret cupcake-members-only recipe. So I guess I won't tell you that it's actually a pretty standard buttercream recipe I found on the interwebs. Someone claims it is what they use at Sprinkles, but then again there are also a lot of old men sitting in their underwear claiming they are hot young girls while online at this very moment. A/S/L? 55/male/Ohio 18/female/NY.

If you think these cupcakes look boring, that's because they are. White on white, baby. No that is not the title of a civil rights novel. It's just how I like my cupcakes.

Sprinkles Vanilla Buttercream that may not be from Sprinkles at all

1 cup butter, softened
3 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/8 tsp. salt

Combine butter, powdered sugar, and salt. Beat until blended. Add the milk and vanilla and beat for an additional 3 to 5 minutes, until smooth and creamy.

And just because I can't resist...

Those god damn young people and those things they do.

June 3, 2012

Nerd alert

So it's kind of awesome having a blog, because I can say whatever I want. Which ultimately means I can make myself look effortlessly social and popular and trendy. Spoiler alert: I'm not really that cool. For the most part, I'm actually a huge nerd.

- I prefer books over movies. Maybe over people. And I'm not exaggerating when I say I would rather stay at home doing arts and crafts than go drink and be social with other humans. My recent addiction to making friendship bracelets is spiraling out of control and I'm kind of worried for my social life.

- My favorite radio station? Warm 106.9, duh. Delilah is my gurl. I obviously have it as preset in my car, but I switch the channel to something hip before getting out or whenever someone is riding with me so that I look cool.

- I'm terrified of competitive sports. It actually ranks #2 on my list of fears, right behind earthquakes. I would rather be trapped in a room with Heidi Montag (aka most annoying person ever) than participate in any sort of physical activity with others. But I will whoop your ass in Monopoly or Scrabble or any other board game that involves sitting.

- Documentaries are my FAVE. Oh boy do I love a good depressing documentary. Preferably one that involves drugs or prostitutes or bears a general sense of people being miserable and abused. I used to kind of be afraid for myself (am I a heartless psychopath?) until I discovered my roommate is as equally into this shit. Us at the movie store:

"Can I help you ladies find anything?"
"Soooo what's your selection on serial killer documentaries lookin' like? Got any fucked up new releases? The weirder the better."

Although we must be careful with this because once we were presented with a documentary about people who cut off their own limbs. They literally cut off their perfectly good arms and legs because they feel they don't belong on their body. Not that we ended up renting it or anything...

So what does someone possessing such varied and awe-inspiring interests do on a Friday evening? Stay up until 2am making these super sweet pinwheel cookie pops while watching a documentary about meth in America, of course.

I was contemplating doing meth myself while making these, because for some reason no one has created a cookie cutter in the shape of a pinwheel so I had to construct one myself. OH THE HUMANITY.

Speaking of meth, I made these for an adorbs little birthday party for some twins.