Zing! Grapefruit cookies for your mouth.

So just a second ago I picked up a spoon that I thought had Greek yogurt on it and put it in my mouth. Twas not yogurt. It was actually shortening.

For those that aren't aware, shortening is 100% solid fat. So that's cool.

My mother thinks shortening is the devil, so it serves me right. She also thinks generic brand Q-tips are the devil, which is a very valid point.

But what are you supposed to do when the recipe for grapefruit cookies calls for shortening? Certainly not try to adapt it, because that surely involves math in some way. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago in Vegas that I realized the severity of my inability to complete any sort of math. While playing blackjack, I found myself frantically trying to count my cards using both my brain and mostly my fingers underneath the table. When this got tiring, a quick $200 later, I decided to just stare at the dealer who eventually told me what to do. When people at the table got excited that was my cue to be excited as well. Yayyyy we are cheering now! Or the more likely why the eff are they taking my chips away? Ok so maybe gambling isn't my thang.

These cookies are made with real grapefruit, which more than makes up for the fact that they also contain shortening. They are light and summery and just make them god damn it. My roommate says "GOT" damn it because she says it sounds like something an old man would say and she thinks it's funny. I do not disagree with this.

I totes stole this recipe from my baking friend Kerissa. You should probably check out her website because she made the most amazing ombre cake that was featured on Design*Sponge. O snap! I want to make an ombre cake! I also want ombre hair. And I kind of want ombre pants. No I don't.

Grapefruit Icebox Cookies
Makes 24 cookies

Cookies
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup vegetable shortening
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup fresh red grapefruit juice
1 tbl red grapefruit zest
1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tbl cornstarch
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Glaze
2 cups confectioners sugar
3-4 tbl red grapefruit juice
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbl grapefruit zest for sprinkling

1. In a large mixing bowl with a hand mixer on medium speed, cream together the butter and shortening. 
2. Beat in sugar until light and fluffy. Mix in vanilla, grapefruit juice, and grapefruit zest. 
3. Add flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt, and beat until a soft dough forms. 
4. On a piece of parchment paper, form the dough into a log about 14 inches long. Roll up in parchment paper and fashion the log into a rectangle by rotating and pressing the dough to square off the sides. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours and up to overnight. 
5. Preheat oven to 350 and line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Remove dough from fridge and slice rectangle into ¼ inch thick slices and place on cookie sheets. The end slices are going to be wack, that’s ok, just discard them or make two weird looking cookies. 
6. Bake 15 minutes, or until edges are lightly browned. Let cool on sheets for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely before glazing.
7. For the glaze - In a small mixing bowl, use a fork to mix together sugar, juice, and vanilla. It should fall from the fork in thick ribbons. If it seems to thin add a little extra sugar. Too thick, add more juice by the teaspoon. Spoon onto cooled cookies and spread a bit. Sprinkle with a little zest. Let set for at least half an hour. If it’s warm in the kitchen, place cookies in the fridge to set. Store in a container until ready to use.