August 16, 2012

Is that food on your face? It's been there for seven hours.

You know when someone has food on their face and it's somehow really stressful? You are sitting with a large group and everyone can see this asshole just blabbing away with broccoli wedged between their two front teeth. And it's so excruciating, because you so badly want to be like joe, stop talking! you have green shit in your teeth and look like a complete moron right now! But it's almost worse to call them out, because then everyone stares while they awkwardly attempt to fish unknown food items out with their pinky finger for 6 minutes. Did I get it yet? How about now?

I don't know, I find it unfortunate this is such a sensitive matter. It happens to everyone, yet still there are no definitive rules as to how to deal with it. Or when to tell. Or how to not be an asshole during all of the above. But I believe the victim has the right to know, godammit. Let's think about this logically here:

Upon discovering food in your teeth a painful two hours after dinner has ended, have you ever thought to yourself, I am soo happy no one told me about this!

No, you haven't. In the same way you have never been able to feel actual remorse for the dying animals in the Sarah McLachlan animal rescue commercials because, well, Sarah McLachlan is in them. But that is neither here nor there.

My roommate's sister is huhh-larious because she a) doesn't tell people when they have food on their face and b) thinks she's doing them a favor. She stands by this and even does it to her own sister.  Allows her to just walk around downtown Seattle all day with biscuit crusted to her cheek should the opportunity present itself. Her stance on the subject is almost convincing and I appreciate the energy and dedication she commits to it.

"No seriously you guys, when I see someone with something on their face I just view it objectively. Like, oh, there's shit on their face. I don't see it as a bad thing. It's just a part of them."

This is a snippet taken from the 45-minute discussion we recently had on this matter.

Just kidding. It was more like an hour.

I find peaches to be generally messface-free food, which is why I made this dessert. Actually I made it because I somehow wound up with fifty thousand peaches in my house. And by somehow I mean I got a little too excited at the peach truck on the side of the road the other day.

Have you ever seen a more beautiful sight than this? Aside from Ryan Gosling or perhaps a babychild? Or even better Ryan Gosling WITH a babychild? In his arms, not his stomach.

Ok so you are going to go find a dirty-looking peach truck on the side of the road, and you are going to buy a lot of them. You are then going to question your life choices and maybe even get a little buyer's remorse because how much did you just pay for that box of peaches? And then you are going to make this dessert.

When I set out making this I wasn't too excited. I generally don't like fruit desserts because usually I would rather cram a million calories into my mouth by means of peanut butter or chocolate. BUT. This is pretty bomb and it's perfect for summer so just go with it, players.

Peach Cobbler

3-4 peaches, thinly sliced
3 tbl sugar
1/2 lemon juice and zest
1/4 cup water
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cornstarch

1 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
3/4 cup butter
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 tbl sugar mixed with 1 tsp cinnamon for sprinkling on top

Preheat oven to 375F.

In an 8- or 9-inch square pan, mix above ingredients and set aside.

Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. Stir in flour, baking powder and salt. Gradually add flour mixture and mix just until combined.

Drop batter over filling, covering as much as possible.

Sprinkle sugar/cinnamon mixture on top.

Bake 35 to 40 minutes, until crust is cooked and golden.


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  2. This is amazing. I had it the other week with some plain vanilla ice cream and it was bomb. Highly recommend this delectable summer treat.

  3. delicious..... where did you buy all those peaches!? Yum. And the food on face? Yes--completely stresses me out!