Time to sit inside with the blinds drawn and watch Don't be Tardy for the Wedding. And eat faux Hostess Ho Ho cupcakes.
Yes, Don't be Tardy for the Wedding is an actual show. Starring the one and only Kim, from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. It is a show so trashy that even I, trashy TV advocate and enthusiast, am almost too ashamed to admit I watch. When it first flashed on the screen, my roommate and I scoffed. "Ew, what losers actually watch that disgusting show?" 10 minutes later this happened:
And then this:
"Omg I wonder how the fiance's parents are going to treat her when they come visist! Is another episode on after this??"
In addition to my undeniable attraction to garbage television, I also have a penchant for shitty processed foods. I am a full supporter of all items with unrecognizable ingredients, including Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and of course, Ho Hos. So naturally I had to create my own. These are somewhat tedious to make, so if you're super lazy or too behind on your television shows maybe just use a box mix. Or go down to your local sketchy convenience store and buy some of these for $1.
For the cupcake base I used Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate Cake recipe. I grabbed a cream filling recipe from Smitten Kitchen, and a recipe for chocolate ganache icing from Annie's Eats. Shwing!
Faux Hostess Cupcakes
Makes 18 cupcakes
For the cupcakes:
2 cups sugar
1 3/4 cup cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water
For the cream filling (Seven Minute Frosting):
2 large egg whites
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup light corn syrup
2 tbl water
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
For the frosting:
1/4 cup heavy cream
4 oz. bittersweet chocolate
1 tbl unsalted butter, softened
1. Heat oven to 350F. Line cupcake pans with paper liners.
2. Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla. Beat on medium speed for 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water (batter will be really thin). Fill cups about 3/4 full with batter for larger cupcakes.
3. Bake 21 - 24 minutes. Cool completely.
4. While waiting for cupcakes to cool, combine filling ingredients with a pinch of salt in a metal bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water and beat with a handheld mixer at high speed until frosting is thick and fluffy, 6 to 7 minutes. Warning: this is extremely annoying. And 7 minutes feels like an eternity. Remove bowl from heat and continue to beat until slightly cooled. Reserve 1/2 cup of the filling to use for piping the swirls on top of the cupcakes at the end.
5. Once cupcakes are cool, prepare a piping bag with a 1/4'' tip, and fill bag with the vanilla filling. Squeeze filling into the middle of the cupcakes.
6. Begin working on the chocolate ganache frosting. In a small saucepan, heat cream over medium heat until steaming, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat, add the chocolate, and let stand for 5 minutes. Add the butter and stir until smooth.
7. Transfer to a small bowl and dip the top of each cupcake to thoroughly coat.
9. Allow the ganache to set before storing.